STRESS?? bikin tua lho...
kali ini aku mau berbagi tips untuk mengatasi dua masalah di atas :)
sebelumnya, aku mau memperkenalkan istilah "coping" apa siih COPING itu??
Coping
adalah proses dimana seseorang mencoba untuk mengatur kesenjangan antara
tuntutan dari lingkungannya {mencakup
stimulus stressor (aspek yang menyebabkan stress), tekanan dan strain-nya (respon dalam
menghadapi stimulus stress)} dengan
kemampuan/potensi yang ia miliki. Coping dapat juga dikatakan sebagai
bentuk adaptasi karena coping merupakan bagaimana cara seseorang
bereaksi terhadap sebuah stimulus yang didapat dari lingkungannya
(Costa, Somerfield, & McCrae, 1996 dalam Primaldhi 2006).
nah coping ini dibagi dua macam, yang pertama ada yang namanya problem-focused coping, bagaimana cara kita menghadapi masalah atau mengatasi stress. kemudian yang kedua ada yang namanya emotion-focused coping, kalau coping ini bagaimana cara kita mengatur respon terhadap stress.
kapan kita harus menggunakan dua jenis coping di atas??
tergantung situasinya, menurut Lazarus dan Folkman, kita cenderung menggunakan problem-focused coping untuk beberapa masalah yang kita anggap bisa dikontrol. sebaliknya, kita cenderung menggunakan emotion-focused coping untuk beberapa masalah yang kita anggap sulit dikontrol.
oh iya, tadi lagi iseng-iseng cari artikel tentang coping, ga sengaja nemu cerita tentang coping. heemmm.. kalau menurut aku sih ceritanya menyentuh banget. hehe...
“While I pressed the tissue to my face, Beck said, “Can I tell you something? There are a lot of empty boxes in your head, Sam.”
I looked at him, quizzical. Again, it was a strange enough concept to hold my attention.
“There are a lot of empty boxes in there, and you can put things in them.” Beck handed me another tissue for the other side of my face.
My trust of Beck at that point was not yet complete; I remember thinking that he was making a very bad joke that I wasn’t getting. My voice sounded wary, even to me. “What kinds of things?”
“Sad things,” Beck said. “Do you have a lot of sad things in your head?”
“No,” I said.
Beck sucked in his lower lip and released it slowly. “Well, I do.”
This was shocking. I didn’t ask a question, but I tilted toward him.
“And these things would make me cry,” Beck continued. “They used to make me cry all day long.”
I remembered thinking this was probably a lie. I could not imagine Beck crying. He was a rock. Even then, his fingers braced against the floor, he looked poised, sure, immutable.
“You don’t believe me? Ask Ulrik. He had to deal with it,” Beck said. “And so you know what I did with those sad things? I put them in boxes. I put the sad things in the boxes in my head, and I closed them up and I put tape on them and I stacked them up in the corner and threw a blanket over them.”
“Brain tape?” I suggested, with a little smirk. I was eight, after all.
Beck smiled, a weird private smile that, at the time, I didn’t understand. Now I knew it was relief at eliciting a joke from me, no matter how pitiful the joke was. “Yes, brain tape. And a brain blanket over the top. Now I don’t have to look at those sad things anymore. I could open those boxes sometime, I guess, if I wanted to, but mostly I just leave them sealed up.”
“How did you use the brain tape?”
“You have to imagine it. Imagine putting those sad things in the boxes and imagine taping it up with the brain tape. And imagine pushing them into the side of your brain, where you won’t trip over them when you’re thinking normally, and then toss a blanket over the top. Do you have sad things, Sam?”
I could see the dusty corner of my brain where the boxes sat. They were all wardrobe boxes, because those were the most interesting sort of boxes — tall enough to make houses with — and there were rolls and rolls of brain tape stacked on top. There were razors lying beside them, waiting to cut the boxes and me back open.
“Mom,” I whispered.
I wasn’t looking at Beck, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw him swallow.
“What else?” he asked, barely loud enough for me to hear. “The water,” I said. I closed my eyes. I could see it, right there, and I had to force out the next word. “My …” My fingers were on my scars.
Beck reached out a hand toward my shoulder, hesitant. When I didn’t move away, he put an arm around my back and I leaned against his chest, feeling small and eight and broken.
“Me,” I said.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Forever
I looked at him, quizzical. Again, it was a strange enough concept to hold my attention.
“There are a lot of empty boxes in there, and you can put things in them.” Beck handed me another tissue for the other side of my face.
My trust of Beck at that point was not yet complete; I remember thinking that he was making a very bad joke that I wasn’t getting. My voice sounded wary, even to me. “What kinds of things?”
“Sad things,” Beck said. “Do you have a lot of sad things in your head?”
“No,” I said.
Beck sucked in his lower lip and released it slowly. “Well, I do.”
This was shocking. I didn’t ask a question, but I tilted toward him.
“And these things would make me cry,” Beck continued. “They used to make me cry all day long.”
I remembered thinking this was probably a lie. I could not imagine Beck crying. He was a rock. Even then, his fingers braced against the floor, he looked poised, sure, immutable.
“You don’t believe me? Ask Ulrik. He had to deal with it,” Beck said. “And so you know what I did with those sad things? I put them in boxes. I put the sad things in the boxes in my head, and I closed them up and I put tape on them and I stacked them up in the corner and threw a blanket over them.”
“Brain tape?” I suggested, with a little smirk. I was eight, after all.
Beck smiled, a weird private smile that, at the time, I didn’t understand. Now I knew it was relief at eliciting a joke from me, no matter how pitiful the joke was. “Yes, brain tape. And a brain blanket over the top. Now I don’t have to look at those sad things anymore. I could open those boxes sometime, I guess, if I wanted to, but mostly I just leave them sealed up.”
“How did you use the brain tape?”
“You have to imagine it. Imagine putting those sad things in the boxes and imagine taping it up with the brain tape. And imagine pushing them into the side of your brain, where you won’t trip over them when you’re thinking normally, and then toss a blanket over the top. Do you have sad things, Sam?”
I could see the dusty corner of my brain where the boxes sat. They were all wardrobe boxes, because those were the most interesting sort of boxes — tall enough to make houses with — and there were rolls and rolls of brain tape stacked on top. There were razors lying beside them, waiting to cut the boxes and me back open.
“Mom,” I whispered.
I wasn’t looking at Beck, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw him swallow.
“What else?” he asked, barely loud enough for me to hear. “The water,” I said. I closed my eyes. I could see it, right there, and I had to force out the next word. “My …” My fingers were on my scars.
Beck reached out a hand toward my shoulder, hesitant. When I didn’t move away, he put an arm around my back and I leaned against his chest, feeling small and eight and broken.
“Me,” I said.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Forever
Kurang lebih ceritanya tentang seorang ibu yang memberikan tips pada anaknya mengimajinasikan keberadaan brain tape, tempat menyimpan masalah-masalah atau kesedihan. yah.. kalau ga salah sih artinya gitu. hehe... maaf kalau salah ya ;)
jadi, sebenarnya banyak cara untuk kita mengontrol stress yang datang. yang jelas, kita sedih atau bahagia, tergantung diri kita sendiri. karena kitalah yang memprogramnya. so.. teruslah berpikir positif :) dan tips satu lagi. "tersenyumlah dalam segala situasi." NLP (neuro linguistic program)
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." Helen Keller
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." Kahlil Gibran
“Becouse of your smile, you make life more beautiful” Thich Nhat Hanh
Keep smiling, guys :)
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